Wrap up
- Some of R’s favorite phrases when trying to avoid responsibility or talking about things throughout the time we were together were, “You have to trust and believe me”, “You have to trust me”, “I’m not perfect”, “Let’s start over”; but his follow through with showing consistent and maintained change is weak.
- I realize that R really thinks in the way of ‘I have to make her trust and believe me’ so that he can continue to meet his selfish desires. There is not one thing he said this in reference to that was not a lie in the 4+ years of that “relationship”.
- R touts being Muslim and touts the Quran (his variation) when it suites him; He speaks of Black love and community when it suites him, he speaks about respect but only gives respect on the surface level. It all looks & sounds good when you only know the orchestrated version that he shows you, but in my experience and those of others that have been shared with me, none of this is who he really is in Character and actions.
- R’s parents and his brother are aware of his misdeeds, but have supported him. I have been a witness to both his mother and father dismissing or excusing his actions. I want to say that his mom is sweet, and part of me wants to believe she is a survivor of the same types of behaviors and had to adapt; but the other part knows that she has been out of that marriage for about 30 years and as an adult has the intelligence and choice to decide not to be a part of the minimization of R’s behaviors.
- He says I stalked his family – show proof because I have proof of otherwise.
- I did reach out to a few of his family members with the information I sent to his immediate family members within the same timeframe.
- Aside from that I took our son to see his aunt in NJ when I was there for a funeral and tried to meet his mom for her to see him during the time that R was not engaging.
- Based on my experiences and knowledge gained, I not only experience R as a sexual predator, but also a predator in the sense of seeking out people as prey (whose purpose is to fulfill a desire of his)
Let’s address a few things that have not been addressed…
I endured years of manipulation and drama that R started and flipped on me. So did I call him some less desirable names once I found out the full truth days before moving and he tried to create a scenario in his mind that he was kicking us out…Yep!
I kept my apartment where my daughter lived with family who moved in to assist so that she could finish school with her peers. She only came over when not obligated to other responsibilities.
Over 1 year before getting pregnant R said he would want his son to have his own identity and name. We talked about names for months and he turned down every name….never mentioning he wanted our son’s name to be his name until I pushed him out. He suddenly blurted it out in the delivery room without any mention and I already picked a name I believed to be fitting for our son based on getting to know him in the womb. I said no! R left the hospital the morning after our son’s birth and did not return until the following morning.
He would not even discuss the spelling and pronunciation of our son’s name when I called leading to us going through the court to change his name when he later decided that he wanted the other spelling and pronunciation.
message I sent to both of our families via text & copied to send to his brother through messenger.
