Crossing Boundaries
Predatory Behavior
- Raped me in December of 2017
- Was trying to groom my daughter (I recognized this after he tried to go to the next level).
- His first marriage ended -allegedly- because he was touching people without their permission.
1 Week After the birth of our son
1 week after discharge from the hospital (2017), he went to get something for his brother and order products.My teen daughter (his stepdaughter) tagged along to experience “the hood mall”. This recording is one day after.
*One segment is amplified to hear his response.
Screen shots showing a text thread between R & I (2017) and testimony about this 3 years later (2020)… Are These consistent with the audio above
My Daughter’s testimony 2020
Rs attorney tried to flip responsibility for his action on my daughter ....
while Painting R as a reasonable adult… But my daughter stood firm!
Audio of R minimizing his Actions/ Words
Nov. 27, 2017
Nov. 29, 2017
Grooming
- My daughter just turned 13 when he met her and she was not amused. She spoke, but was generally standoffish with him and kept communication to a minimum. She said it was because she was not used to me being with a guy.
- She spoke when he spoke but otherwise stayed distant unless we were not under one another. R found this to be a problem, despite her not disrespecting him and he would dwell on it refusing to speak with her about it, but instead decided to fuss at me time and time again. I now know this is because it went against his need for people to like him and it was part of grooming.
- While I was pregnant the 3 of us were sitting in the living room and my daughter was talking to me about a party she wanted to go to, filled with 16 and 17 year olds with no parents present. I explained why that is not acceptable and R jumped in stating that he thinks she should go. Now typically when a couple does not see eye to eye about a child they talk about these things and come to a decision, but he chose to blurt out his thoughts. I was blown away by this and now understand that was his way to get my daughter to gravitate towards him.
- Later in my pregnancy there were two moments when I thought I saw R looking at my daughter, but it was so quick and unexpected, I thought I was seeing something that did not happen. Well, in my 8th month while sitting on the couch next to R, my daughter left out the kitchen where she was with a friend and walked across the living room to go upstairs. I watched as his eyes and head followed her starting from her head and down her body before he saw me staring at him and snapped his head forward. I asked him what he was looking at and he made the excuse that he wasn’t staring but thinking and in a daze to which I told him your head does not follow someone when you are in a daze.
I should have called the police when my daughter told me what was said, at the very least to get a general police report. I do not think the police would have done anything more since he did not get a chance to touch her.
**For those that like to shirk responsibility of the adult….no my daughter was not a provocative dresser and did not look like most 16 year olds today. When I told her to fix her shirt it was because she was sitting on the floor and we were on the couch where I could start to see something with her baggy shirt. My daughter remained covered in often baggy clothes and unkempt hair unless we were going somewhere and even then her clothes were very much age appropriate.**
R & the 1st Ex-Wife
Mirage told a story of his ex losing her mind as she wanted to be like friends of theirs who were married and the wife had her own apartment. He told me that he had not done anything and when he would not agree to her getting an apartment she stopped talking to him and one day after months of this he came home to an empty house.
R claimed that he fought for their marriage but decided to stop doing so because she did not want kids and he did. He repeated this story in court in 2020.
A little over 4 months after R took the next step in trying to groom my daughter, I spoke to his ex wife (after months of him telling me he did not care if I did so and she would laugh in my face because I’m insecure). She seemed interested in telling me something, but very hesitant at the same time and I now know why (the mind games of R are intense, long term, and long lasting). I knew where I stood at this point, but wanted to hear from her what happened with them.
She told me that he (allegedly) touched one of her friends who was visiting and asleep on the couch and sometime later (allegedly) did the same thing to a family member when visiting her family out of state. Of course there was more detail, but that is not necessary information.
She did not know about the boundary crossing with my daughter at this time, but I shared it shortly after.
R initially said she was lying, but who makes that type of ish up and how does it align so well with who I now knew R to be. R then made this statement:
- November 2017 response to the allegation that he touched people
- November 2017 Can’t have kids. I will explain the secret part later.
- R’s testimony in court in 2020 on why his first marriage ended (transcript)
Explicit Videos & Pictures
Once I realized R’s predatory behaviors, I thought back to R trying to get me to record intimate videos.
I thought if he would be predatory in other ways he would certainly sneak to get videos or pictures of me in revealing moments.
So while still living there, I started looking for any that he might have of me.
In my search:
- I came across his ex-wife’s journals (she asked I get rid of them… along with any other revealing finds associated with her).
- I came across compromising pictures of his ex-wife mixed in with pictures from his life that he has pulled out and shown me numerous times. Those pictures are now gone.
- I also located 3 videos including nudity or intimate moments of him and his ex-wife.
- In one of these video’s R was hiding a camcorder in an open space (a shelf in a closet or another elevated position) that pointed to the bed in their old rental while his ex-wife was apparently in the shower.
- I think she saw it as she left out of the room and called him into the other room.
- As previously requested, those videos are gone too.
** With this said: If there are any revealing pictures or videos of me, they were taken and kept without my permission.**
He raped me….
December 14, 2017, R raped me. After nights of arguments and after I put the baby to sleep, R suggested he gives me a back massage.
His massages are not worth much but I was extremely tired, stressed, and tense. As a new mother with no solid sleep for months on end, who worked full time, and was a full time Graduate student, it sounded better than nothing, so I said okay.
A few minutes in R said he wanted to “taste” me, to which I told him that I was not having sex with him. He knew enough about my body (as he rubbed my back) for me to agree to him giving oral. I reiterated a couple of times that we were not having sex and he repeated the same.
Just as soon as he finished he hopped up and on top of me with no chance for me to pull away and he now had no underwear on (he must have slid them off while performing). I pushed my hands against him and told him, “I said no”, he spoke over me telling me I said “yes”. As I repeated, “I said no” he pushed himself inside of me and told me, “you said yes”. Our son was on the other side of the room sleep; and I looked at him frozen in disbelief that R was doing this and with our son in the room. I just wanted him to be done. Within two days I started buying boxes to move forward with my plan to move.
- When R tried again days later, I packed a bag for me and the baby and we left for a couple of weeks.
- Whenever I thought about my celibacy, it triggered memories of that night ….reliving it in disbelief and anger every time; questioning why I let him get that close. I said no multiple times, resisted, and he knew the answer was no as…
- 1) it was verbally expressed by both that we were not having sex before I allowed him to perform oral.
- 2) he snuck to take his underwear off while performing oral, before quickly forcing himself on top of and inside of me.
- I never called the police and I never put a name to it as I now realize, I was surviving….I was trying to figure out my next moves. It was not until a couple of years later when I had another flashback to those moments that it became clear that he raped me.